A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not “Crazy” (Gulity as charged)
November 9, 2011 Leave a comment
This article resonated very well with me and I am sure it will for many others. I was just thinking along these lines several days ago, but the author of the article below just captures it wonderfully. I believe in emotional honesty and holding people accountable for their actions. And I like nothing more when someone is emotionally honest with me and holds me accountable for my actions (faults, etc). It leads to personal growth. The older I have become the more I have been able to be emotionally honest and not emotionally mute as the author rightfully calls it. I think it takes great courage to be emotionally honest (I don’t mean condemning, yelling, criticizing, putting people down here), but to tell what we think and feel in a given situation with respect and integrity. However in our society we have been conditioned (not just women) to think emotional honesty is a weakness, when in fact it’s courageous and takes a lot of inner confidence. For me the problem lies in when you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. I know I have had many cases where my feelings were hurt, but instead of communicating that, I became emotionally mute because I dismissed these feelings as “over-reacting, sensitive, no big deal”, or if I communicate what I am feeling it may not lead to benefit and so came to the conclusion to just let it go. My Islamic moral training has a lot to do with this conditioning, of striving to being the bigger person and often times this means overlooking my emotions, in other words the euphemism here would be the pharse of having patience. Sabr (patience) is a wonderful quality afterall (or a burden depending on who you ask).
This was a refreshing article that I encourage people to read.
Article: A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not “Crazy”
You’re so sensitive. You’re so emotional. You’re defensive. You’re overreacting. Calm down. Relax. Stop freaking out! You’re crazy! I was just joking, don’t you have a sense of humor? You’re so dramatic. Just get over it already!
If you’re a woman, it probably does.
Do you ever hear any of these comments from your spouse, partner, boss, friends, colleagues, or relatives after you have expressed frustration, sadness, or anger about something they have done or said?
When someone says these things to you, it’s not an example of inconsiderate behavior. When your spouse shows up half an hour late to dinner without calling — that’s inconsiderate behavior. A remark intended to shut you down like, “Calm down, you’re overreacting,” after you just addressed someone else’s bad behavior, is emotional manipulation, pure and simple.
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